Beloveds! It’s been many years since I did a brand collaboration. I have very strong ethics when it comes to the clothes I buy and the brands I partner with. A couple years ago I went on a deep dive for hours looking for plus size sweatpants with elastic ankles in my size that were ethically made.

What a serendipitous email to get from Octopied Mind offering to partner with me! Owned by Canadian Queer Women and ethically made with incredible artwork and quality–I’m all in. Size inclusive from 2XS to 6X!!

I hit a freeze response when I was picking out the pieces OM was going to send me. So many great options! Shirts like “Don’t Tell Me What to Do”, “Even Baddies Get Saddies” and the “Adapting” raven called to me.

I chose the “Riots Not Diets” tee shirt in 2X. It fits like a dream (and true to size). It’s their mineral wash variety and its so soft–like perfectly broken in brand new. Breathable and cozy.

At first I thought I would cut off the neck like I do to 95% of my tee shirts because I am a Tender Tomato and get sensitive about things around my neck. (The 90s choker trend didn’t catch for me and I now realize why.)

However, this neck band is actually really soft too. And it’s wide enough that it isn’t bugging me after I’ve worn it five times. The shirt has gotten a tiny bit roomier but not much of a difference in five wears.

I chose the long size and love that there’s an option for the Millenial fav short length tee shirt.

I was shopping for the perfect Cuddle Up and Cozy Down outfit for cuffing season (the season when folks boo up for the Winter–what if I were to boo up what kind of sweats do I want to wear for that) and long is the right fit for me to feel comfy and at ease.

Another thing about the Octopied Mind website I ADORE is that when you click the size on the product it switches the model in the photos to a plus size model or the smaller size model. There are videos as well to show you the fit and flow of the fabric. And when you toggle between short fit and long fit tee shirts you see the actual shirt and the difference in length.

There’s even a very helpful video from the Octopied Mind Instagram page showing the differences between the three tee shirt fabric styles with two different size models.

For sweatpants there were so many options! Right now there are eight! That’s a lot for an indie brand with such a size range!

I chose the Destined to Disappoint sweatpants in 3X. I was going for a slightly oversized fit–the hot girl in baggy sweats look. What a treat to get to buy sweatpants not at the top size of the range just to barely fit over my belly (my lifetime experience with sweats especially as a fat teen in the 90s) but to have room to size up. After one wear they broke in and got baggier and I can roll over the elastic waist band once or twice to get them to be a little tighter.

For info on my fit, I’m 5’6″ with a longish torso and right now I wear a 22/24W on bottoms. Honestly I haven’t been shopping typical retail in many years so that’s a guess based on where my body size is compared to previous experience in plus size retail. (I was a shop girl at Lane Bryant in my early 20s and have worked at a couple plus size resale stores in the past two decades. I have a lot of experience going through many brands and who sizes “true to size” and who is all over the place.)

The COLORS of this brand are sumptuous and the screen print is really well done. Honestly there is SO MUCH work that goes into every step of making garments. Tailoring, fabric choice, artwork, ink choice, size range. The fact that it’s ethically made through each step (even the packaging is compostable and the garment tags are lavender seed paper and will hopefully result in flowers in my yard, Gay Gardens) is incredibly mindful and wonderful.

If you want to visit with me in Gay Gardens while I do my unboxing video for this brand here’s my vlog!

There’s a 30 day money back guarantee and the shipping was so fast to me. I thought because Canadian it would take awhile but I received my package two business days after it shipped. I do live within sight of the border so maybe that’s it but grateful.

Remember use code BEVIN for 15% off your first order! I’m so stoked for the beginning of this partnership and to get to rep more collections as they roll out. Octopied Mind has collectors and a Patreon with lots of first access and behind the scenes looks!

Thanks for tuning into my blog! To receive an email whenever I drop a new article or a podcast episode, consider becoming a free subscriber on substack!

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If you find value in this blog, please consider supporting!

Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)

Venmo: @bevinb

Buy my aerobics video! ⁠fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack⁠

Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share

Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party

Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty

Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/

Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple Podcasts)

You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty

Blog: queerfatfemme.com

Substack: bevinsparty.substack.com

Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db

Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into Jeffrey’s profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9

Threads, Tik Tok, bsky.app/, Twitter: @bevinsparty

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Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!

Welcome back to my series Simple Self Care–invest five minutes (or less!!) in feeling way better.

I’m fond of saying that my spiritual practice is “free game from the universe.” 

If you don’t believe in God or the divine mysterious force that pumps our hearts and animates our breath, that’s all good. As with everything, take what you like and leave the rest. Or just skip this post and take great care of yourself!

We are in a continually unprecedented time and facing uncertainty and instability. We have ancestors who have incarnated during other times in herstory that were unstable and difficult who have wisdom to share with us. 

Since we have free will choice, we have to ask to be guided. And we have to listen (hello, meditation) in order to receive that guidance. According to A Course in Miracles, Spirit needs only the slightest invitation to help out. 

Here are some SIMPLE PRAYERS / thoughts that I turn to when I need help.

Please help me with [insert issue].

Let the lessons be gentle. (We can ask for this and I would encourage you to do so!)

Let this flow with ease.

Let my helpers find me. (Got that from Luvvie.)

Divine Mother, help me give and receive the love I deserve.

Thanks. (A gratitude list is a form of prayer—it’s also a way to orient your attitude and behavior towards what you want more of.)

Wow. (A simple moment of awe and appreciation–I get here a lot in nature.)

DAILY PRAYERS:

This is the daily prayer from A Course in Miracles. I started using it long before I finished the daily workbook. (Probably 2018/2019 and got consistent over time, saying this prayer daily for the last 4-5 years.) This prayer has had a profound impact on the orientation of my life and how it flows.

“What would you have me do, where would you have me go, what would you have me say and to whom?”

I follow that prayer up with this: “May I speak from my highest self and connect to the highest self of all others, seen and unseen, today and all days.” I got the sentiment of this prayer from an Agape sermon by Rev Dr Coco Stewart and wrote it to follow my daily ACIM prayer.

I also add this to my daily Salt & Light energetic hygiene practice as I’m making my energy flow throughout the world “May all leaders know a miraculous redirection towards peace.” Which I modified from something Marianne Williamson posted.

IMAGINATION WORK:

Imagine roots growing out of your body and into Mother Earth. You can go as far as you want. Some folks (especially air signs) benefit from planting into the mycelium network. Water signs could benefit from going into the underground water table. (I got those ideas from Robin Doxey.)

Personally, I go all the way to the core of the Earth which I believe is a star and bring that bright light up through my roots and flash my body once to release anything “not of me or for me” and then do it a second time flashing my energetic body releasing anything “not of me or for me.” 

Imagine a bubble of protection around you. Set the intention that only good can come into your bubble. (I always fortify my bubble with a crystal and set the intention that only God’s Love can come into my bubble.)

Some people like to put mirrors all over their bubble. I do mirrors along the bottom edge and set the intention that any harm sent to me be returned to sender.

Here’s a link to a free Patreon post with my daily energetic hygiene practice/visualization. Here’s a link to a free post about why I think energetic hygiene is so important.

OTHER SIMPLE PRACTICES:

Light a candle! It doesn’t need to be special. It doesn’t need to be on an altar space although it can be! And an altar can just be a special place where you light your candle and have a crystal or a tiny cup of water, maybe a tiny plate for an ancestor bite.

Ancestor bites! I give a little nibble of food for my benevolent ancestors (I’m not feeding the mean ones) most days. I give a little sip of tea for my Grandmother on the altar in her favorite cup. 

Flowers on the altar! Flowers in front of a picture of someone you love and miss! I usually pick wildflowers or something from the garden. Spent blossoms work, too. It’s always about the intention of the gift.

I think these types of offerings give energy to our benefics in the other world and thus help their messages and influence get stronger. 

Ask a crystal to carry pain for you! Crystals love to have a job and when I’m in pain I like to use them to help me relieve pain. I then cleanse the crystal (run it under water with the intention to cleanse the energy) later once I’m through the pain. 

Rosemary plant by the front door/gate for protection. I like to put a quartz to amplify the protection.

I hope some of these practices/prayers help you out! There are lots of “smells and bells” that go along with prayer—my friend / psychic Chrissy Tolley says “choose your fighter” for who you direct your prayers to. I typically direct to the God energy but might also send it to my whole “Spirit team” or name Jesus because sometimes I need Jesus.

I often end with “And so it is” or “amen” or “So may it be” and that’s all up to you. I think the only wrong way to pray is to be mean about it. 

If you’d like to learn more from me about how I have woven spiritual practice and self care to great effect for my mental/emotional/physical well being here is a list of all the Spiritual Self Care lessons available on my Patreon membership! Or you can buy the collection instead of a membership!

Thanks for reading my blog post! To receive an email every time I post a new blog or podcast, subscribe to my Substack!

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If you find value in this blog, please consider supporting!

Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)

Venmo: @bevinb

Buy my aerobics video! ⁠fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack⁠

Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share

Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party

Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty

Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/

Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple Podcasts)

You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty

Blog: queerfatfemme.com

Substack: bevinsparty.substack.com

Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db

Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into Jeffrey’s profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9

Threads, Tik Tok, bsky.app/, Twitter: @bevinsparty

Facebook.com/bevinsparty

Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!

When I was prepping to leave Los Angeles in October 2019 I kept telling myself I could come back as often as I wanted. The savings in rent alone, going from $3K a month (plus wild Los Angeles water/electric/trash to the tune of about $350 a month) to $500 all in out here in the lesbian woods seemed like I’d have lots of money to travel back to visit all the time.

Then the quarantine hit, did to my income what it did to a lot of folks and I was just grateful to be in a beautiful place with private forest access that didn’t shut down.

The intense uncertainty of that time hasn’t ended for me, but my capacity to handle it has been incredibly fortified through consistent therapy, and spiritual / personal development.

I was finally able to return to Los Angeles for the first time since November 2019 this past July 2025 and it was what I expected it to be for me. Emotionally cathartic and spiritually deep. 

Travel during a mercury retrograde can be a cluster of poop logistically. However, travel to a place with deep emotional herstory and unfinished business is benevolently assisted during a mercury retrograde. It’s a supported time for review and reflection.

A leadership development group I’m a member of switched the location of our summer seminar to Anaheim from Las Vegas and I considered just going in and out of Santa Ana. But Spirit nudged me to route my travel through Burbank (my favorite So Cal airport by a long shot) and consider doing an in person aerobics class. 

I say “consider” because sometimes Spirit insists I do things and sometimes they tell me that this opportunity will unfold in a way that aligns with my desires. We all have free will choice as earth incarnated humans. My intuition has a 100% success rate, in hindsight. So, now, I listen. 

Free game from the Universe just for settling my nervous system and connecting to my intuition.

When my Zoom regular Marlene attended class for the first time in awhile and I asked her if she’d attend an in person class her enthusiastic “Yes and I’ll bring a friend!” told me this was something to pursue. 

I booked the dance studio, my first time teaching in a real dance studio in a long time, and put the word out.

Arriving in Burbank (early!! the travel was so seamless even with a layover!) the nostalgia was strong. 

I spent so much of 2018 touring my aerobics class via that airport that it felt so natural to be wheeling that same suitcase across that same carpet. 

I did not anticipate how much pet grief was going to come through during this trip. As soon as I got off the plane there was an ad with an orange and white cat. There used to be a pet clothing boutique where I would impulse buy my Shih Tzu Macy fancy robes for her golden years. I flew with her in a stroller once at that airport and it was reallllly fun shopping for her at that lil stand.

As soon as I left the airport building these two crows started hollering at me. I am a friend to all crows; Bevin, in Gaelic, means “the girl who sang so beautifully the crows stopped to listen.” This felt like a gorgeous welcome to town.

When I parked my rental car in Toluca Lake to have brunch with beloved teacher and friend Leah Garza I found a crow feather right behind my car.

Since I was early for my brunch plans I decided to just head to my old neighborhood in Eagle Rock. It felt so natural to go from Burbank back to the house I have loved the most of all the structures I have lived. The place Macy’s ashes were spread because it was also her favorite place we lived. 

I started crying leaving Burbank as soon as I saw that the Jacaranda trees were blooming their sticky purple blossoms. 

I deeply grieved cherry blossom season in New York City when I relented to my ex’s pressure to move with her to LA. 

It didn’t occur to me there would be more frequent and diverse flowering trees all over Los Angeles. Jacarandas are my favorite!

My beloved Grandmother taught me to never park under a flowering Jacaranda because “It ruins your paint, dear.” A neighbor’s Jacaranda ruined my friend’s pool filtration system. Agents of chaos!

I was only at my old house for five minutes. The neighbors behind the house had chopped off all of the branches on their side of the ancient enormous Torrey Pine tree behind both our houses in 2019 when I was still living there. The energy of that insane mutilation jarred me at the time. I was sort of expecting the tree to fall down but I understand more about tree resilience now. 

The old house looks the same but with better fencing and a bunch of rose bushes. The tree is still mutilated on the backside. 

I suspect someone (my old landlord’s kids or someone who purchased from them) turned it into a two family dwelling based on the number and types of garbage bins outside. 

I had a lovely brunch with Leah Garza solving all the problems of the world (not really she always leaves me with more questions than answers, her mischievous Aries face when she’s about to burst a bubble is my fav of her adorable faces.) 

Leah’s been on my podcast three times, lovely thoughtful reality bending conversations.

Episode 109: What Even is Reality

Episode 133: Make the World Better by Becoming More YOU

Episode 155: Desire, Disgust and Dyads

I took my shoes off on a patch of grass, stopped to smell some gorgeous rose bushes and a guy walking by asked if I had a you tube channel. I had to pause because I don’t identify as a you tuber but actually do have a you tube channel. Lol. What an LA question.

I sat in traffic for two and a half hours to make an otherwise hour long trip to Anaheim, got to my motel and passed out. 

12 hours of sleep / rest is so restorative for me especially after missing sleep. I had a wonderful seminar, got to see a bunch of people I love, these wild flying chrome green beetles and eat In N Out. During a break from the seminar I found a tree and some grass and did some stretching. 

I’m grateful I’ve released the idea I should care what other people think of me moving my body in public. Grounding is such a vital part of my wellness.

Sunday I ate breakfast at Denny’s. I haven’t been to any Denny’s since my ex and I had our last conversation, a fight. My ex hated fighting in public she was so embarrassed by it. But she wanted me to sign a document promising that as soon as I make more than $200,000 a year I owe her $50,000. I’m still below the poverty line all these years after I released my law practice to follow her out to California; because I would not be manipulated that time she doesn’t get to benefit from my career transition.

It was interesting to me how Los Angeles felt different than being in Brooklyn after we broke up the first time. I had lived in Brooklyn for four years before we dated but those first five months infused so many spots haunted by the energy of our unfinished business. That break up was hard. The LA break up, after we had been engaged, was different. More like an uncomfortable awareness I had been ignoring was revealed to me. 

In hindsight after a lot of therapy I can see how things were over for me as soon as my ex took my emotionally abusive boss’ side when I chose to leave the gym where I started Fat Kid Dance Party aerobics. My body clearly broke up with her long before she broke up with me. I felt emotionally unsafe with her and my brain couldn’t understand what was happening because trauma brain compartmentalizes and lies to us. 

I had been curious how it would be to return to Los Angeles. It was more about me and my experience in a town that wasn’t my first choice but I fell in love with anyway. 

I have missed my people and the food most of all.

Since there was no traffic coming back from Anaheim—it was just a 50 minute drive—I had time to stop for iced tea at the Dunkin by my first LA house (the one with the avocado tree, RIP). 

There aren’t Dunkins near me now. Another East Coast beloved. What a miracle that it opened while I lived right there. 

I walked to the park down the street from that house and visited with a tree who had spent so much time with me and Biscuit Reynolds and Macy. Boy do I miss those Muppets. I practiced my line dance for aerobics class in spite of the other people in the park. 

Again, grateful I don’t care about people watching me move in public.

I taught my aerobics class. I sold enough tickets to cover the space rental and I got to dance with four folks from the early days and two new folks. It was the sweetest homecoming. 

Sonya and I went to Korea town for Kimbap. (There’s a reason in Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown his first episode is Korean food in LA’s Korea town.) Kimbap Paradise looks sketchy and has a B rating from the health department but the Kimbap was delicious! Sonya got enough to enable me to taste various types and take some home. The dumplings slapped.

Four hours later we walked to Echo Park, then went to Leo’s Tacos while the sun set and they were so yummy. Iconic taco truck tacos.

Up at 5:15AM for my flight I stopped at a mom & pop donut shop for a maple bar. SOOOOO delicious. There is NOTHING that compares to California indie donut shop donuts! (Out here in the woods we mostly have grocery store donuts.) Three of my favorite LA foods within 13 hours was a delight. 

This trip felt like closure? I firmly believe we create our own closure, and I didn’t feel like anything was open. But if/when I get the chance to go to LA for work opportunities, I won’t feel a need to visit my houses.

I will feel a need to eat in Korea town and get a taco from a great truck. I will probably nostalgically miss my pets, which I do every day anyway!

Thanks for reading! To be notified by email when I update my blog and drop podcast episodes please subscribe to my substack!

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If you find value in my blog or my work existing in the world, please consider supporting me! I am an entirely crowd funded artist and the work I create today and paying for my internet archives is because of the support of readers like you!

Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)

Venmo: @bevinb

Buy my aerobics video! ⁠fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack⁠

Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share

Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party

Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty

Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/

Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple Podcasts)

You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty

Blog: queerfatfemme.com

Substack: bevinsparty.substack.com

Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db

Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into Jeffrey’s profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9

Threads, Tik Tok, bsky.app/, Twitter: @bevinsparty

Facebook.com/bevinsparty

Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!